Life, a Long, Treacherous, and Emotional Crossroad

Life, a Long, Treacherous, and Emotional Crossroad

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I ended my one-year relationship with my girlfriend six months ago. Though I loved her very much, she didn’t feel the same way. Up until this point, we’ve had fun. We’ve gotten out in many dates, watched many movies together and had have spent countless of hours hanging out both inside and outside the school, as well as talked over the phone. However, in later moments this all changed, she grew colder, more distant and less affectionate. At first, I thought I did something to offend her or hurt her feelings but every time I went up to her to ask if she was ok, she would have a ghastly look on her face and say, “I’m fine.” That hideous phrase, that damn and retched phrase.  I knew she wasn’t fine, but she would never say anything, I tried to talk it out with her to see what was the problem, I even went as far as to think that maybe I was the problem, but whenever I brought it up she would look at me straight in the eyes and usher that foul phrase, “Jan, I’m fine.”

Perhaps a more intellect and a less emotionally driven version of me would have seen the signs a mile away, but at the time I couldn’t see them and thus I denied them, I would lie to myself, “Maybe she’s just tired”, “She’s been arguing with her parents again, maybe I have to give her some space.”, “She’s been doing a lot of work recently.” Nonetheless, at the same time, I would answer myself those questions, “She does less work than you, how can she be tired?”, “You argue with your parents all the time, yet you don’t treat people differently.”, “We’re both in the same school plus you have a job so how can’t she find time to talk, if you can.” So I began to ponder, why was she treating me so differently? Why was she being so cold and evasive and yet… she wanted to remain together. Now, five months later, I’ve been told that she just stopped loving me, she has not been loving me for quite a while and yet, we remained. She was unhappy with me and I was worried about her coldness. Something she could have avoided entirely if she would have just told me these simple words, “Jan, I don’t love you anymore.” And still to this day I have yet to hear those words come out of her mouth.

Before the day that I ended our relationship, we’ve had many fights. Some were stupid, while others had a great impact on me. However with every fight we had, I wanted to resolve the issue at hand, but she wanted to avoid it by saying, “Stop bringing it up.”, “Let’s move on.”, “Could we start over?” I couldn’t keep doing this anymore. I grew tired of her being so distant and cold to me when I never did anything to hurt her or make her angry. I was tired of feeling this inexplicable pain in my stomach and always feeling ill when she would so cold and heartless towards me and then act as if nothing was wrong. So on a Sunday morning, I gave her a call, and I told her that we should go our own separate ways, even though I didn’t want to, I had to cause I couldn’t take her being cold and distance, I couldn’t take this pain anymore and her response from the other side of the phone was a monotone, “Okay.”

Works Cited

Pittman, Cynthia. Class assignment from reading "Using I..." by Cynthia Pitmann

Girl: A Guide On Becoming A Woman

Girl: A guide to becoming a woman

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            I would first like to clarify that the title that I have chosen for this essay is both a mixture of irony and the truth. For starters, the whole purpose of this short story is how a mother teaches her daughter the do’s and don’ts of being a woman and giving her both the wisdom and the help on keeping a house and a family one day. This could be seen in this small excerpt of the story,"Girl"(122) “Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap; wash the color clothes on Tuesday and put them on the clothesline to dry; don’t walk bare-head in the hot sun; cook pumpkin fritters in very hot sweet oil;” The rest of the short story follows the same concept as the mother continues to teach the daughter. But besides household chores, she also tells her how to catch fish and make herbal medicine, either to help your health or “to help your life”. She also tells her daughter about relationships as well as behaving in different situations. Thought for some it might seem crude when her mother calls her a slut, at the end of the day she just really wants what’s the best for her. After all, that’s what every single mother wants.

            Something to take into consideration is the time that this short story was written. Though the story was published during June 26, 1978, the author, Jamaica Kincaid, was born in 1949 and lived during the 50s and 60s, a time where women were basically objects for men or as the term goes, “trophy wife”. The advice and teachings that her mother offers her are that in which she could be the woman of the house and take care of her family.

            Something I find very interesting is the title of this short story. You see, the title can be seen in a few ways. First, it could be the way the mom refers to the girl, an example of this is “Girl, wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap.” compared to the original sentence from Girl (122) which is “Wash the white clothes on Monday and put them on the stone heap.” Second, it could be about the word girl itself. The definition of girl is, “a female child” or a young or relatively young woman. The character who the mother talks to can fall in either of these definitions or in both, as she can either be a child or a young woman when she’s being told these lessons by her mother. Another way of seeing it is that she’s being told all these lessons from a young age and they continue to be taught until she’s close on becoming a woman, and with this, I bring my third point, the story is called girl because compared to her mother that’s what she is. She’s an innocent and naïve girl who’s about to enter womanhood yet she hasn’t, hence her mom warning her of not becoming a slut and acting more ladylike.

            Girl was an excellent short story where it tackles both social issues as well as the role of the traditional woman, especially housewives. The short story also shows us a glimpse to the past as it was a sort of “tradition” for mothers to teach their daughters on how to be ladylike and being housewives by doing chores and taking care of your family. The way that the mother gives all these lessons to her daughter across the story, is so that she could be ready for a life of family and commitment, even including one lesson that is all about the relationship between wife and spouse, saying that you can love a man as much as you want but if he doesn’t love you back you can and must move on. Overall, though sometimes some advice in the story was a bit harsh and she called her names a few times, mothers only want the best for her daughters.  

Works Cited

Pittmann, Cynthia. Reflection on "Girl". By Kincaid, Jamaica.

“Girl.” Dictionary.com, Dictionary.com, www.dictionary.com/browse/girl.

Kincaid, Jamaica. "Girl" 1978

Salvation: The Irony Of A Title.

Salvation: The Irony Of A Title.

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            “Salvation” by Langston Hughes is anything but what the title says. Salvation is part of Langston Hughes’ memoir The Big Sea. This part of his memoir focuses on a coming of ages experience he had when he was twelve years old. The essay begins with Hughes explaining how he was “…saved from sin when I was going on thirteen.” This first sentence of this memoir briefly defines the concept of what salvation is, salvation means “preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss.” but that’s just one definition, another definition of salvation in the concept of theology is “deliverance from sin and its consequences, believed by Christians to be brought about by faith in Christ.” thought the title can be viewed as any of these definitions it mainly focuses on the second definition as the setting of the essay focus mostly on a church as well as the main conflict of the essay.

            Hughes begins to explain how there was there has been a big revival at his auntie’s church. If you’re a Catholic or a Christian, you might have had to go to at least one revival in your life but for those who are not Catholics or Christians, revivals are a restoration of the church itself as well as a relationship with God after a period of moral decline. One of the “activities” that happen during this period of revival is mass conversions of non-believers, which is what Hughes focus on his memoir.

            As the revival period came to an end the church decides to do a special meeting where they would, “…bring the young lambs to the fold.” In other words, they would be officially converted to Christians. When Hughes heard this, he was excited to be converted like the memoir indicates, “My aunt told me that when you were saved you saw a light, and something happened to you inside! And Jesus came into your life! And God was with you from then on! She said you could see and hear and feel Jesus in your soul. I believed her. I had heard a great many old people say the same thing and it seemed to me they ought to know. So, I sat there calmly in the hot, crowded church, waiting for Jesus to come to me.” Even though the church was uncomfortable he remained sitting waiting to see and hear Jesus. But as the preacher finished his sermon, he asked the children “Won't you come? Won't you come to Jesus? Young lambs, won't you come?” and while some children stood up immediately, most of them stayed sitting on the bench but little by little, probably by the pressure of the singing and praying people they stood up and went to the altar. Until it was only Westley and Hughes sitting on the bench, after a few minutes Westley gets tired of sitting and goes to the alter leaving only Hughes behind. Now, this worries all the members of the church including the preacher and his aunt, the preacher even asking him “Langston, why don't you come? Why don't you come and be saved? Oh, Lamb of God! Why don't you come?” But the reason for this is because Hughes hasn’t seen Jesus yet and this worries him as he has been told that he sees a light and all of that but nothing of that happens, almost taking it to a literal level instead of symbolic but then again, Hughes is only 12, he’s still a child who’s concept of symbolism is quite little so when his aunt told him he would see a sign, he thought he would see a literal sign, but it never came.

            Feeling ashamed of himself for holding the revival up, Hughes stood up and went to the altar as he has finally seen Jesus. As he walks to the altar everyone begins to celebrate since he has found Jesus, everyone believed it except Hughes himself. Later that night, Hughes begins to cry in his bed, his auntie believed he was crying tears of joy as he had seen Jesus, but it was the complete opposite. Hughes was crying because he had not seen Jesus or like he says, “I hadn't seen Jesus, and that now I didn't believe there was a Jesus anymore since he didn't come to help me.”

            Like I mentioned earlier this memoir is an excellent example of what a coming of age story is, as Hughes, a boy who wanted to believe and see Jesus slowly loses his faith as he neither showed up in the church nor did he help Hughes at his time of need. 

Works Cited

Pittman, Cynthia. Class assignment reflection from story "Salvation" by Langston Hughes