Looking
Through My Notes: A Journal Reflection.
When I first heard that I
had to do a journal for English, I was surprised. I have never done a journal,
not because I didn’t want to but because I usually forgot to do record an
entry, I could also be considered a bit inarticulate at times, but now that we
were going to start writing on a journal and I couldn’t wait to have the
experience of writing and maintaining one.
Albeit
as we were getting ready to begin writing our journals, the professor began to
give some rules that we had to follow. Some were basic, such as using an ink pen for all entries, don't worry
about spelling, punctuation, grammar, and keeping your hand moving. Those rules
were easy to understand. Then there were some rules that I didn’t understand at
the moment such as lose control, don't think, don't get logical, go for the
jugular, and write your first thoughts, out of these the ones that I had a hard
time following were the ones of not thinking, not being logical and, the one of
writing your first thoughts like, how were we supposed to write a journal entry
without thinking what to write about or the ideas that you write about in that
paper not being coherent with each other. Yet, as the teacher explained it more
it made more sense. This wasn’t going to be your typical journal where you
start with “Dear journal…” or “Dear diary…” The purpose of this school journal,
unlike a regular journal, was to do a sort of psychoanalysis on ourselves with
the thoughts and ideas that you’ve had during the day. This is better shown
when we begin to do the daily compass, as its purpose is for us to analyze how
we’ve been feeling during the day.
Before
we started doing this project I would take my time writing and thinking of the
correct way to put my ideas together, dropping the pen and thinking. But now
that we were in a time limit, and we also had a rule to not stop moving your
hands for the time limit helped me to think of words quicker and to memorize
them. This also helped my grammar since if I would forget how to write
specifics words I replaced it with a synonym.
Ever
since starting this project, I believe that I have been writing more about how
I’m feeling as well as the thoughts and ideas that I have during the day,
something which I didn’t do much or at all. It’s something beautiful and yet so
fragile seeing these entries filled with those raw emotions that someone can
have and yet it kind of makes a person vulnerable, after all its all your
emotions and thoughts that are trapped in that in that thin white paper, marked
with the ink of a pen that helps you express what you’re feeling on that day.
For me, just the thought of someone reading the notebook terrifies me, the fact
that they can know who I am, the real me, what I feel and what I think makes me
feel so vulnerable, I guess that’s why many people don’t write in journals and
if they do they hide it, since they’re afraid to be known to the world but yet
it’s nice to see who you are and all the stuff that you thought and you did
when you look back and read through it.
Works
Cited
Goldberg, Natalie. Writing down the bones. Shambhala, 2010.
Pittmann, Cynthia. Journal Reflection work. 2018.
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