I ended my one-year relationship with my girlfriend six months ago. Though I loved her very much, she didn’t feel the same way. Up until this point, we’ve had fun. We’ve gotten out in many dates, watched many movies together and had have spent countless of hours hanging out both inside and outside the school, as well as talked over the phone. However, in later moments this all changed, she grew colder, more distant and less affectionate. At first, I thought I did something to offend her or hurt her feelings but every time I went up to her to ask if she was ok, she would have a ghastly look on her face and say, “I’m fine.” That hideous phrase, that damn and retched phrase. I knew she wasn’t fine, but she would never say anything, I tried to talk it out with her to see what was the problem, I even went as far as to think that maybe I was the problem, but whenever I brought it up she would look at me straight in the eyes and usher that foul phrase, “Jan, I’m fine.”
Perhaps a more intellect and a less emotionally driven version of me would have seen the signs a mile away, but at the time I couldn’t see them and thus I denied them, I would lie to myself, “Maybe she’s just tired”, “She’s been arguing with her parents again, maybe I have to give her some space.”, “She’s been doing a lot of work recently.” Nonetheless, at the same time, I would answer myself those questions, “She does less work than you, how can she be tired?”, “You argue with your parents all the time, yet you don’t treat people differently.”, “We’re both in the same school plus you have a job so how can’t she find time to talk, if you can.” So I began to ponder, why was she treating me so differently? Why was she being so cold and evasive and yet… she wanted to remain together. Now, five months later, I’ve been told that she just stopped loving me, she has not been loving me for quite a while and yet, we remained. She was unhappy with me and I was worried about her coldness. Something she could have avoided entirely if she would have just told me these simple words, “Jan, I don’t love you anymore.” And still to this day I have yet to hear those words come out of her mouth.
Before the day that I ended our relationship, we’ve had many fights. Some were stupid, while others had a great impact on me. However with every fight we had, I wanted to resolve the issue at hand, but she wanted to avoid it by saying, “Stop bringing it up.”, “Let’s move on.”, “Could we start over?” I couldn’t keep doing this anymore. I grew tired of her being so distant and cold to me when I never did anything to hurt her or make her angry. I was tired of feeling this inexplicable pain in my stomach and always feeling ill when she would so cold and heartless towards me and then act as if nothing was wrong. So on a Sunday morning, I gave her a call, and I told her that we should go our own separate ways, even though I didn’t want to, I had to cause I couldn’t take her being cold and distance, I couldn’t take this pain anymore and her response from the other side of the phone was a monotone, “Okay.”
Works Cited
Pittman, Cynthia. Class assignment from reading "Using I..." by Cynthia Pitmann
I really admire you, because this is not a easy thing to talk about. Ending a relationship is a really hard thing to do but if the relationship isn't healthy the best thing to do is to end it, just like you did.
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